“If anger isn’t brought up into conscious awareness, it has no place to go. It either turns into an attack on self or an inappropriate attack on others.” Marianne Williamson

When we don’t bring our anger to the surface, we repress it. I think that anger comes from being hurt. That our feelings got hurt, someone rejected us, or whatever be the case, we feel pain. So, every time I experience myself or anyone being angry I just see that somehow they feel hurt! This then puts me in a place to be more compassionate and understanding rather that defensive.

When we do feel the angry often times we deny it or we blow up. As Marianne says, we need to bring it into our conscious awareness! Then, we can begin to transform it. She recommends releasing it to God. I would agree, this has recently been a really great practice for me. To not let get consumed in the emotion but to feel it and then let it go, or give it to God.

Anger is energy, and energy is always moving. So the anger needs to go somewhere. If we do not choose where it goes, then it may show up in an attack to others and an attack to ourselves. We need to get to the source of it, we need to be patience and authentic with how we feel so that we can better move in the world.

Trust me we will all be happier when we are aware of our emotions and especially anger. It is a fabulous sign for us to tune in and see where the illusions are. Enjoy the emotional journey! :)

Spirit –

Intention/Mantra is to Feel good. I choose to feel good. I choose to be empowered. The more I connect to Spirit and transform my thoughts the more I am seeing just how much I am capable of doing and being in the world. It is quite exciting! :)

Mind –

Meditation

Holosync 4:50-5:50

Destiny 9 -9:30

Universal Mind – before bed at 8 pm for an hour.

Body – I feel so much better today. Sinuses are clearing up. I was in bed by 8 pm last night doing the Universal Mind meditation. And, had an amazing night’s sleep. And, I am back to feeling really good in my body. Can I get an Amen!?! :)

Diet –

7:00 Ginger tea with honey and a beet, celery, cucumber, parsley juice

9:30 Salad with raw ranch dressing

12:30 coconut water and dark chocolate

2:00 Potato wedges

3:00 scrambled eggs, veggies, and feta cheese

5:00 tumeric, aloe, apple, honey juice and a bit of dark chocolate

6:00 potato

Workout – Awesome Fit workout for 30 minutes and then 30 minutes of yoga.

Massage – 60 minute massage

Magical and blissful moments – Brian bought me a philosopher’s stone! Love it!! Brian also gave me his old computer. Yea yea yea! :) I had an amazing workout this morning I was in the zone, I had amazing “bedroom” time. Hot! Wow!

Appreciation – I appreciate my life. I appreciate my growth. I appreciate Brian, so much gratitude for that man!! I am really enjoying my own space and my own time, I appreciate partnership and I appreciate self-reliance and independence. I appreciate amazing food. I appreciate my healthy body. I appreciate my beauty. And I appreciate that I am learning how to own and rock my hotness! :)

Final thoughts for the day - Amazing day I am so inspired!

“At every moment, a woman makes a choice: between the state of the queen and the state of the slavegirl. In our natural state, we are glorious beings.” Marianne Williamson

What do we choose!?! I know I desire to choose the queen. The slavegirl is my insecurity, my fear, my doubt, worry, concern, etc etc. When I choose her I am imprisoned. But, when I choose love, peace, happiness, and bliss I am choosing the Queen.

The Queen is where I want to live! It is our natural state to be glorious, beautiful and radiant!! We always know which one we are choosing! The Queen feels marvelous the slavegirl feels like hell.

Know that we are destined to be happy and feel good! And, consciously choose the Queen every moment and you will find heaven on earth! :)

Up at 5 am

Spirit – Mantra/Intention - Health! I am health!

I feel like I have only had a glimpse of the power of Spirit! I have read Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra and I am in awe of their confidence and knowing of God. It is really inspiring. I am becoming more and more connected! And, I know as I continue to remain, positive, powerful, authentic and blissful I will be flowing down the stream. That is where the goodness is. I am literally rewiring my brain. This is possible and it is a full time job! One that I am thrilled to be able to do! Let’s change my life, Baby!! :)

Mind – Meditation 5-6 am Destiny and Universal Mind and Goddess Affirmations and Dyer’s morning meditation

I was a bit anxious this morning. I am thrilled to be maintaining my morning ritual without B. I love getting up early. I can even see getting up at like 4:30/4:45 at some point! My main goal today is to rest/relax/release any tension or stress from my mind. I want to honor my transition with B and also my new career as a Professional Goddess. And, also adjusting to living in Bali! Wow, I am living in Bali! :)

Body – I feel a bit of tension or maybe a sinus irritation this morning. My head feels a bit foggy. Drinking some red ginger tea (strong) right now, it is suppose to help with the immune system. And, I am sore from my awesome workout yesterday my intense Goddess Training

Diet –

7:30 Aloe vera drink and at 9:00 16 oz of green juice

10:00 mixed salad bowl

11:30 Potato and ketchup

2:00 PB&J with rice bread

4:30/5 Nasi Goreng with brown rice

Workout – 40 minute walk – 15 minute light yoga

Blissful, magical moments – Taking my morning walk, a great lunch with Charley and Valerie, My text from B that informed me he bought a computer so I get our old one, yea yea yea! And, he also bought me a gift too! It was magical to organize all of my books, I have like 10 I want to read this month!! FUN!

Appreciation of the good, great and beautiful – I appreciate Charley renting me a room in his magical place, I appreciate my freedom. I appreciate my body to tell me when it’s off. I appreciate salt baths, I appreciate my Dance of Anger book, I appreciate my personal legend, my personal path! I also have deep appreciation for all of the wisdom that I have been blessed to read and digest!

Final thoughts for the day – I feel exhausted. Lots of stuff going on in my head. I just feel really blah and I am missing B a little bit too. It is 8 pm and I am off to bed!!

“Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.” Marianne Williamson

:) The best advice ever!! We hold on to our stories, and retell them and relive them over and over, especially the so-called bad one’s!!

What is the point!?! Does it really serve us!?!

Get on with it, move on, everything happens for a reason, look for that reason, learn and then as Marianne says, chuck the story! And, recreate a new story. I find this to be really powerful especially in times of uncertainty!

I also, think we need to lighten up and enjoy life a little bit more. We get so serious and create so much drama in our lives. A divorce, an illness, ended engagement, car crash, credit card debt… who cares!

Does there need to be drama!?! Could be, but not necessary! I find it fun to create fun, and positive ways to look at everything. It can be quite fun, when we are not consumed with our stories and know that we can create a new one at any time! :)

Up at 4:57

Spirit –

Intention/Mantra – Passion! I am passionate about my life. Passion fills me up!

I love love love to meet the day with my mediation and beating the sun up. I have been doing it for 3 months now and my vision is for another 15 months – that is when I feel like I will become positive addicted to connecting to Spirit first thing in the morning! Can I get an Amen!?! :) I feel like I am learning to connect to the BIG “I”, the BIG Self!!

Mind – Meditation 5:15-6:15 Destiny 9-9:30 Universal Mind 8-9

Lots of excitement going on… I am now living alone in a foreign country. Ended an engagement and I am creating a new website, and a new job at the Yoga Barn teaching a Goddess training class. And getting ready for a fitness show (if I am inspired to compete not sure yet, but the transformation absolutely!)! Fun and I feel the anxiety and I feel like I am alchemizing it into excitement! I feel powerful today and self-reliant. It is my 1^st day alone, separate from B. WoW I am a single woman!! Still adjusting to that….

Body - A bit of the headache/tension in my neck area. But slept amazing. And, feel my body transforming and I am excited to see what the next 12 weeks hold for me. Wow 12 weeks of intense training. How cool!?! Time to turn it up. I felt a little off and tired/sluggish today 10-2, that is the time of the Pitta for Ayreveda! I must just be adjusting to something!?!

Diet

6:30 aloe vera drink

7:00 green juice

9:00 small salad and samosa

10:30 dark chocolate

2:00 coconut water, corn chips and guacamole

3:00 aloe drink and pb & J sandwich on red rice bread

6:30 Salad and potato with ketchup

Workout – 1 ½ Goddess Movement (amazing! I created my class)

Blissful and Magical moments – waking up at 5 after an amazing sleep! Reading the Dance of Anger, an amazing book so far! Allowing myself to relax/nap/meditate. Riding the scooter in the night through the jungle (stunning), Paying for my bill. I really appreciate and am so grateful for Brian because he paid for all of our dinners out and there is power in paying for the bill. It felt good!

Appreciation of the good, great and beautiful – I appreciate my body, I appreciate my path. I appreciate solitude and I really appreciate partnership. I appreciate Brian for supporting/guiding me with my new website. I appreciate Charley’s beautiful house. I appreciate my passion and confidence. I appreciate God, Nature! I appreciate my meditation practice, I appreciate my health!

Final thoughts for today – It was an interesting day. It was the 1^st day in 3 months I woke up and did my morning ritual without B. Definitely different And, it was all great until I drafted the email to Brian’s mom giving Joy to her, our little baby puppy. She loves it there and I have no idea when I will be home or where I will be. Just doesn’t make sense to hold on to her when she has a great home. So, I let my little baby go, which was challenging. Then I went to eat dinner by myself at Kafe and I haven’t done that in a long time and there was a bit of a “missing” feeling. But committed to staying positive and happy and I appreciate my great food and alone time. It is Halloween, full of parties and celebrations and I am going to go home meditate and go to sleep!! I keep reminding myself to Breathe!! :)

“When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

One door is closing in my life… I am moving out into the world alone after ending an engagement. And, it is true there is a part of me that is looking regretfully upon the closed door. I don’t do it all the time, but there are moments! And, in those moments I am missing the opportunities that are waiting for me.

Doors are always closing and opening. We just need to be open to receive the goodness and not be too concerned with the past or with the future! I know this experience is going to lead me to a better, more fulfilling life. I know that I am only going to love more, deeper and better.

We need to have the commitment to see the good, to be open and willing to see the new doors opening right before our beautiful eyes! They are always there waiting for us to walk through them leading us to a new and better experience!

Be grateful for the past. Trust the current process and know that Divine is guiding you towards a better you, and a better life.

Up at 5 am

Spirit – Confidence. I am confident!

I really really love to be connected to my Higher Self. It feels so good. I love that I am learning more about this thing called Me every day. So much to learn, love and accept and to transform! I need and desire guidance during this transition!!

Mind – Meditation 5:15-6:15

I woke up today a bit anxious and “in my head” I am moving out today. B and I are going to be separating. We have been breaking up and transitioning and it is time. I feel like we have had one of the best break ups ever. And it is time for us to have our own space and time alone. I know we are both going to love it. And, I also know it will be interesting being alone as I am used to having a best friend right by me. We both need this for our own self-reliance and I feel it is right. I still have moments of sadness. I know it is all good and perfect though.

Body – I feel more tension in my body than I have in awhile. Took a great BM this morning. It is amazing how my face clears up and constipation is non-existent when I am meditating, eating healthy, and happy and thinking empowering thoughts. The mind/body connection is fascinating.

10pm feeling the tension in my body and head!

Diet

8 bowl of melon, pineapple and watermelon

11:30 4 almonds and dark chocolate

12:30 Potato wedges and a salad with tempe and tofu

1:30 Dark chocolate

5:30 2 samosa’s and a grilled veggie salad

I had like ½ a chocolate bar today! Might be a bit too much but it was soo good! :)

Workout am - Goddess Training movement 45 minutes pm 45 minutes of walking

Magical, blissful moments – Serendipity and Abundance full force today, Extending my visa for another month (amazing I have already lived in Bali for 3 months), Got a cell phone today, rockin it Bali style! :)

Appreciation of the good, great and beautiful – I appreciate Brian! I Wow do I appreciate him. I appreciate we had the best break up ever. I appreciate Charley for opening his house to me, amazing! I appreciate that I am living in Bali. I appreciate all of my growth and transformation. I appreciate all the good that is coming to be right now!!

Final thoughts for the day – I am heading to bed. I am exhausted. I am going to bed alone. WOW. It feels a bit strange. Tonight I left Brian and moved into Charley’s house. It felt weird packing up my stuff separate from him. And, I have to keep reminding myself that divine action is guiding both of us. And it is for the Best. I am really tired. So, I guess good night!

Act as if you are already what you want to be.

Right now I am acting as if I am a Professional Goddess! ;) So, for me that means coming from the place of being beautiful, healthy, sexy, sensual, abundant, happy and enthusiastic. The place where I say, “YES to my destiny” and I live with audacity and confidence!

I say, “YES to the Goddess” and will continue to Act as if! :)

Pretend it’s all a game. Who would you be? What would you do? Then, start playing around with it. Embody the qualities that your ideal vision requires! Do this for long enough and before you know it you will be that person! Exciting!!!

Up at 5am

Spirit – Purify is my mantra today! I am purifying my mind and body.

I feel I am bathing my spirit in light and have been letting go the last 3 months and now the next 3 months is deeper purification process!

And, I am committed to circulating wealth and transforming my beliefs about wealth (thanks Deepak for the inspiration)! I feel purified!

Mind –

Meditation – 5-6 am and Destiny, Universal Mind and 15 minute wealth treatment

I feel like I have been thinking too much. Major transitions… ending an engagement with thoughts of what’s next, moving and also the choice to stay in Bali for 3 months. I also feel really stable and enthusiastic amidst the perceived chaos. I am feeling more and more peaceful!

Body – I have a bit of a headache this morning – tension headache.

Ready for bed and I feel great, tension has been relieved!

Diet –

6 am coconut water

7:50 Green juice

8:30 Papaya

10:30 Buckwheat pancakes with berries and butter and coconut water

12:30 Dark chocolate

2:30 Nasi Goreng with Brown Rice

6;00 Grilled veggie salad with hot cocoa

Workout – 40 minutes of light yoga and lots of walking in the afternoon.

Favorite, blissful magical, moments – walking in the rain, getting a job at the Yoga Barn teaching Goddess Training, and feeling my power!

Appreciation of the good, great and beautiful – I appreciate Uma and Shivananda, I appreciate Brain, I appreciate Charley, I appreciate Ubud, I appreciate the Yoga Barn and I appreciate Life.

Final thoughts – What an amazing day, totally in the flow and allowing!