“Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.”

Do you listen to your anger!?! Until recently I always “tried” to be the “nice girl”. I never wanted to be too angry and I wanted to be easy going and be flexible and just go with the flow. What I am realizing now is this doesn’t work. I ended up feeling like I was being walked on, repressed, with no self-expression!

Anger only asks that we are open to it. There is nothing wrong with anger. It is just an emotion. Granted it is not an emotion that you want to live your life from, but it is like Dr. Lerner says, it is a signal, and one worth listening to.

Anger doesn’t just come from nowhere there is something that happens, thoughts that we have that create this emotion. So, it is an amazing tool for us to see where we are off.

Are we compromising ourselves and our beliefs? Are we saying ‘yes’ to things, when we really mean ‘no’? Are our needs not being met? Are we ignoring an important emotional issue? Are we not communicating ourselves well, do we feel like we are not being heard?

All of these may be reasons for anger to come up in our lives. And, the exercise is awareness and observation. Be aware of when you are feeling anger. This means connecting to our emotions, they are powerful they let us know when we need to change, shift, transform into something that is more aligned with our true self. Honor them.

Some of us may not even know when we are angry. I know there have been times that I denied I was angry when if I would have been honest I was furious. To quote Dr. Lerner, “The taboos against our feeling and expressing are so powerful that even knowing when we are angry is not a simple matter.” And, “Because the very possibility that we are angry often meets with rejection and disapproval from others, it is no wonder that it is hard for us to know, let alone admit that we are angry.”

I used to think that being angry was wrong, ugly and meant that I was not spiritually evolved enough. Now, I am seeing it as a beautiful thing, and part of the human experience and it is ok. It is better to allow yourself to feel it than to repress it, which I have done for many years! Now, I am learning how to live up to my ideals and fully own my power and communicate my anger effectively.

By effectively I mean in a productive calm manner. Sometimes it may be appropriate to let it all hang out and give a raw expression of anger. But, I think most of the time it is best to take some time, to feel into what we are angry about, take responsibility for our anger, and then communicate it in a calm, powerful, and clarifying way. This is the dance of anger! :)

Get to know yourself and your anger and learn to dance with the beautiful gift of our emotions! :)